We Just Have to Try

It's Friday night. We locked in Qi Long's file on Tuesday. (Technically, Monday, but wouldn't you know that our case worker is on vacation this week, so she didn't get the email right away.) She told us to let her know any questions that we had and she would ask the orphanage to clarify and that she would request a video for us. We contacted anyone that we knew that had any kind of connection with a pediatrician. We are recommended to have a pediatrician picked out for this very purpose, so that when you receive a referral and have a time limit, you can quickly get advice. Well, we didn't think we would be on this step yet, so we didn't have a doctor lined up. So we have been grasping for straws. I found out that the pediatrician we have used since Stephen was born is no longer in our hometown. I had to do some stalking, but I finally found him in a far away state and emailed his office trying to get in touch with him. They responded back and said that he was out of town until Monday, but to go ahead and email him and he would get back to us then. Why does everyone have to be on vacation during one of the most important weeks of our lives?! We sent his files to a few other friends, hoping someone would be able to give us some encouragement, one way or the other. And now we wait.

Another thing that drew our attention to this little boy is the fact that he lives fairly close to us, the province next door to be exact. The train ride is only 4 hours to the city where he lives, which is VERY close considering it used to be a 12 hour overnight train ride. Thank you technology for the fast train. I so wish America would make bullet trains across the country! As we have sat at home this week, thinking about him and praying for him, we can't help but think that we are in a place where we could literally just go visit him. Most people don't even have that opportunity simply because they live in America and the child is in China. It's not economically or logistically possible for most. But we are here! We asked our case worker if she thought we could go visit him, and she said she thought that would be wonderful, but she would have to ask the orphanage.

Did I mention the fact that she is on vacation? It's been a few days since we heard from her and we have to make a decision by Tuesday. If you have known Justin and I for any amount of time, you know that we are pretty spontaneous when it comes to travel. (Having small children is trying to cure me of that, but not quite.) We have talked about it all day and we just decided to go buy train tickets tonight and we are going to go tomorrow. We need to do some medical checks anyway, so while we are there, we are going to go to the orphanage and just see what happens. At the end of the day, I can't just sit here being this close and not try. In 4 days, we will make a huge decision for our family and for this little boy and if we have the smallest, slightest possibility of a chance that we could even just catch a glimpse of him, we are going to try.

Justin and I both are very much here and now, follow our hearts personality types. Sometimes, we feel foolish. Sometimes we feel like we live in a completely fictional world where we are almost 30 and we have two kids. We still feel 18 years old most days. But in the end, we know that God gave us our passions for a reason, and we are going to do our best to funnel that passion into things that bring Him glory. And He will have to be the one to slow us down because life is too short to live in a state of should I stay or should I go. Our default will most likely always be to go, to do, to see, to hear, to feel and to try. We have failed an awful lot of times, but we try. And we believe that this little boy is worth it. We don't know what to expect. Most likely nothing will happen. Most likely the orphanage won't let us in and most likely we will come home not feeling much different than we do right now. But we are praying for Father to open doors for us this weekend. We are praying that He will give us some guidance, even if it's in a different way than we are looking for.