Home Study

We had our Home Study visit this Friday and Saturday. I can't think of a better way to ring in the New Year than to check off one of  the major to do items in our process!

Because we live overseas, our visit was a bit different. She arrived on Friday around 2:30pm and stayed through Saturday around lunch. Stephen had been sick this week and Sean, who has been an amazing sleeper for several months, had all of a sudden started having tantrums around bedtime and in the middle of the night, so we are all a little tired, aka cranky, and I was a little worried about all of that! But we were blessed to have our friends here who were able to watch the boys for us for the Friday night portion of the interviews and trainings.

Most of the questions that she asked were the same questions that we had already answered in our Home Study paperwork, but people always speak and write differently, so she said she likes to get both perspectives and then write from the combination of the two. So the questions were things we had already thought through. Some of them were hard to remember what we had said, but it was a way for her to get the best picture of what we truly felt. She asked us questions about how we met, how we decided we wanted to adopt, and a general overview of what our family life looks like. Then she went through training that was required which answered many questions about what to expect throughout the adoption process and beyond, with a lot of information about attachment and bonding, as well as some struggles that you might see come up.

Saturday morning she came back and we had a little bit more training left to cover and so we did that while the boys were occupied with a movie and then the more stressful part came when she interviewed J and me separately. This is when we got more in depth about our autobiographies that we had already written and she asked us more personal questions about our childhood experiences, our values, our strengths and weaknesses, and more specific questions about parenthood. Again, all of these questions we had already had to think through in our paperwork, but it's definitely harder when you are on the spot and you don't have a delete button. Ha.

Then she did our home inspection, which was very relaxed. She didn't bring out a white glove or anything like that. She basically just checked for safety features: no knives, chemicals or medicines in the reach of children. Do you have smoke detectors, fire extinguisher and locks on the doors? She got to enjoy a private tour performed by our boys, with each of them pointing out their favorite parts of their own rooms. Little S made sure to show her every single stuffed animal he has and Big S showed off his utility knife that he got for Christmas. I'm not sure he really understood the idea of a home study. HA! She talked with Stephen about what he liked to do and what he thought about the adoption. He told her about home school and made sure to include the fact that "we haven't done school in a really long time!" Thankfully, it's Christmas break and I have an excuse!!

Overall, we are happy that it is done and we can keep moving. It feels good to have that off of our shoulders. But more than just checking it off of the checklist, the home study really is a valuable resource for us as adoptive parents. Our case workers truly are here to help us. They WANT us to adopt. They are here to encourage, to answer questions, and to calm fears. Yes, they have a job to do to make sure we can provide a safe and loving home for a child, but your case worker is so much more than that. I truly encourage anyone who is on this journey, to take full advantage of the wisdom your case worker has to offer. And while you have her stuck in your house, ask as many questions as you can think of. Don't be afraid to let her know that you don't have all of the answers.

So now, you guessed it...we wait. She will take a few weeks to write up the report and then send it to us for review and then to a different case worker to be finalized. Once we have a finalized copy of the home study, we will be ready to fill out our application with the US Dept of Immigration to be approved to adopt by the good ol US of A.

Happy New Year and prayers for a blessed 2016 to you all!!