Waiting for the Lord...Part 1

I have been chewing on this verse for a few days. Read my last post to see visuals about my feelings. 

I have been walking a journey of daily scripture writing. (Click here if you want to join me!) This month all of the verses just happen to be about patience and perseverance. Hmm. (God's pretty cool like that.) I love writing the verses because I notice things that I normally wouldn't. Especially in familiar verses like this one.

"But those that wait on the Lord will renew their strength."

This part caught me. During the 39 days while we waited on our approval, I haven't felt my strength necessarily being "renewed." I feel stressed, I feel panicked, I feel overwhelmed and emotional. I feel like I'm grasping for control but every ounce of control is just out of reach. I feel bombarded with the what ifs and the "if, thens." Renewed strength? No. Zapped strength...yes. I know that everything happens in the Lord's timing. I fully trust in his sovereignty and in his decision of what is best for my family. While I don't always like it, I trust Him. Fully. He has never led me astray. But I can't say that it's easy. And for some reason, this picture of waiting on the Lord renewing my strength isn't what I am experiencing. And then I add in the rest of the verse. "...They will soar on wings of eagles. They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint." Like I said earlier, I'm a hot mess compared to that soaring eagle, and I'm weary. I'm faint. What am I doing wrong? 

A couple of days later the verse was Hebrews 12:1-3. One of my very, very favorite verses. 

"...fixing our eyes on Jesus..."

Really, that's all I need to say. There was my answer. This was why I was feeling so defeated. 

My eyes were not on Jesus. 

My eyes were on WHAT I was waiting for. My eyes were on the PEOPLE that I was waiting on. My eyes were on how much I needed to get to the next step. My eyes were on the people around me, comparing my journey with theirs. My eyes were on everything surrounding me that seemed so big, instead of being on the One who is bigger than all of that!

I was reminded of a verse I had written at the beginning of the month. Psalm 130:5-6. 

More than the watchmen wait for the morning. Let that sink in.

I'm waiting on the Lord.

I'm not waiting on an approval, I'm not waiting on other people to give us approval.

I'm simply waiting for the Lord. 

"...Fixing our eyes on Jesus..."

We oftentimes want a formula. In a world of checklists and youtube videos of step by step instructions, we read God's word and see many things we should be doing, but we don't know how. Where are the step by step instructions.

Sometimes, the only "formula" is simply to abide. When we abide in Christ, our eyes will naturally be fixated on Him. 

Apart from Him, I can do nothing.

What are you waiting on today?

No...whatever just popped into your head...That's not it.

You are waiting on the Lord. Look at Him!

Click here for the rest of the story...Sometimes, God does give us step by step instructions!