Bringing Home His Dragon: Day Thirteen...Goodbyes are hard

How do you close the door on three years of your life?

You don't. You let go of the control and allow God to do what He needs to do.

I have to back up to Friday, Sept 9, the day before we left for Guangzhou.

I didn't post about it back then, but we had our "official" goodbye before we left for Guangzhou to pick up Silas. I knew that I didn't want to have the "ugly cries" when he was here because I didn't want to scare him. So we had a night of fellowship with the whole team and then spent some special time with each other that night.

The boys

The big kids

The best friends that anyone could ever ask for. There are not enough words in the English language to describe the relationship that has grown over the last 5 1/2 years between these four people. As we go back to America, there are two large chunks of our hearts missing...our friends in East Asia and our teammates, who are more than equal to family in our eyes. As we go back to family, we are leaving family behind. Our lives will never be the same. And I thank God every single day for blessing our lives so richly and deeply!

We praise the Father for the new team that He has given. Our two families have been through thick and through thin together, and we all know that nothing will be able to replace that, but God has done an amazing job of PROVIDING!! Our hearts are full knowing that our dear friends will be very well taken care of. He has provided three families (one not pictured) that are so rich in knowledge and experience and love for the Lord. He has provided kids that are so close in age which will yield friendships that will last a lifetime for them. If we have to go, I couldn't ask for a better situation to leave behind. God is so faithful! Please be in prayer for the G family as they adjust to their new home, their new city and their new teammates. Father has very big plans for their next term and we are so excited to see how He will use them for His glory!

From the day we started...

To now...Thank you Father for how you have worked in our lives and grown us together!

Fast forward exactly two weeks to now Day Thirteen. We had such a fun night with our team and we woke up and shared breakfast together and got ready to go. We gave really big hugs before we left the house because we knew things would get crazy at the airport, (which they did) and went on our way.

One last family picture. Our sweet kids look so grown up!!

One thing I have truly missed about America is my car and the radio. Being able to get in my car and go for a ride and at any time have the Word of God and uplifting music in my ears. We were blessed to have friends that were able to drive us to the airport in their cars. As we rode, we laughed and talked and at first it was just another day. And then all of a sudden, the kids calmed down and it was quiet, and there was the radio. And I heard these words...

"Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There's freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go"

A song I've heard many times, but in that moment, in the quiet, even though I had been so focused on all the happy of our adoption and all of the good things, the truth was that there is this world of unknowns stretched out before me, and those words cut to my heart and the lump in my throat grew bigger and bigger. I didn't want to cry. Silas was sitting beside me. Justin was in the other car. I had to keep control.

And then she turned around. The woman in my life who has been my constant. For the last three years she has been by my side. We have walked hand in hand into a battle and have fought tooth and nail to hold each other up through it. We have faced the storms of culture stress and all that includes, of which I could never accurately paint a picture. We have been totally helpless together and in our weakness God's glory has been brilliant. We have been a team in the purest sense of the word. We have laughed, cried, been angry, hurt, forgiven and stronger together. Our hearts have been bound together in a way that I never dreamed could happen. And she turned around. And she gave me that look. And I lost it.

Fortunately, Silas thought it was hilarious that I was crying and it didn't phase him in the least bit and he gave a much needed sense of humor to the situation.

We are so thankful for these guys that helped us so much with our luggage and so much more! We love you guys!!

We got through the airport craziness and had to say goodbye with lumps in our throats in the rush to security like we had figured would happen. Sean was definitely having a hard time and it showed through complete defiance as we tried to get him to stand in line. Once we were finally through security and at our gate, our boys released their built up sadness and we just let them cry. Even Silas was asking about "big sister" and said he wanted to go back to their house.

We are thankful for friendships that are hard to leave. It means that we have loved well.

And now we just begin the next chapter. God will be with us all through every step of the way.