Day 100

I have written an introduction to an update so many times and then deleted it. I'm really not sure how to begin this update. So I'm just going to begin it this way. It is just awkward enough to fit how I feel these days.

100 days. It doesn't seem like so long when I word it that way. Almost a third of a year...that feels a little longer. My perspective flip flops almost daily when I think about the amount of time that we have spent with Silas.

I've been trying to think of one word that I could use to summarize our first 100 days. I think I'm going to go with supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. That's what you're supposed to say when you don't know what to say, right?

All in all, life has been great. Really. When I take a step back and look at our life from a distant vantage point, we really and truly have a blessed life. It's impossible to not be grateful at the end of the day.  We have continued to share so many firsts with Silas and that is such a joy.

2. Playing dress up with brothers

1. Getting to know cousins

3. Trying to ride a bike

5. Driving!

4. Riding!

6. Video Games

7. Flashlights!!

8. Grocery shopping

9. Road tripping

10. Hiking

11. Halloween

12. Losing a tooth!

13. Animals!!

14. Getting dizzy on a tire swing!

All of these and so much more that I can't even begin to include on the blog! And we are still going. Almost daily we encounter something new. But along with all of these firsts that seem so great come challenges that aren't so much fun to talk about. It's funny how pictures can speak one thing and yet the reality of that picture can be something totally different. In every single picture that I just posted, there is an obstacle that we had to overcome or are trying to overcome still. Some of them are bigger than others. Some of them are totally normal, that every child deals with. Some of them are really good victories. Some of them are just plain hard. With almost every happy moment, there is a struggle of some kind.

Along with all of the fun firsts also come the hard firsts. The firsts nobody really talks about. The ones that remind you that you have absolutely no idea what you're doing as a parent. The ones that leave you praying to God for strength because you realize that you just can't do this on your own. The first time he tests his boundaries. The first time he tells you he doesn't like you. The first time he says he wants to go back to his old school. The first time he disobeys. The first time he lies to you. The first time that you have to discipline him.

Because after all, he is a child. He is just a normal kid who struggles with all the same things that all kids struggle with. Sharing, getting along with siblings, wanting his own way. But not only is he a normal kid dealing with normal kid things, he is a child that has zero reason to love and trust you. A child who really has no idea what love is. A child that is relying on you to teach him how this life works in literally almost every aspect.

This life is hard. And as a good friend of ours reminds us, adoption is not for the faint of heart. We wake up every morning not knowing what we will be dealing with and praying for good to come out of whatever it is. And then we go to bed every night talking about all we wished we had done differently and praying that good will come out of whatever happened.

But it's in those struggles that beauty comes. Sometimes it's immediate and it's rewarding and we can cheer. But other times, it's not immediate. Sometimes, it's not rewarding. Sometimes, it just plain stinks. But there is still beauty. I really have no clue why God chose me for this job. And even with all of the hard things, I am so grateful that he chose me. When I sit on the couch with him and he reaches over and wraps his little fingers around mine, I am reminded of how far we have come, how long I waited for him to be in my arms and how much God has done and is doing in his life and in our family, the tears of gratefulness fall. All of these things are necessary to his growth and understanding of who he is. As each day goes by, he is finding his place in this world. His place in our family. His place in God's family. And it is worth it. So worth it.

So when you see our happy pictures on Facebook, remember to say a little prayer for us. Yes, we are happy. Incredibly happy. But just with any Facebook post, there are hard moments that come with the happy pictures! I think it would do a world of good if we could remember that for everyone we encounter!

Day Eight

We have been a family for a whole week!! Yay!!!!

We are felt a little better today, but were a little hesitant to go to the orphanage so early without knowing how we would feel. So we talked to our guide and asked if there was a way we could go tomorrow and they said yes. So we rescheduled our visit for then.

We ventured out to the mall across the street for lunch because I had to go to the grocery store and we made a pit stop at a sporting goods store that we love. For real, we come here every time we come to town. The boys had so much fun looking at all the new things and of course we came out with some flashlights and a few other things. I somehow didn't get a picture of QiLong riding this bike, but I did get video, which I will put all together...some day. haha. He was such a natural at riding a bike though. He will be ready for no training wheels in no time. Here is Sean for the first time. He couldn't really reach the peddles just yet, but he was eager!!

Stephen teaching his brother a little about tent camping 

We did almost have a meltdown while we were at the mall. We put the little boys in the stroller while we went to the grocery store. I just had a few things to get and we wanted to get in and out quickly, and otherwise little hands want to touch everything they see which makes the trip turn into way longer. But Silas didn't want to sit in the stroller at that moment for some reason and he began the first stages of a tantrum. So I told him if he didn't want to ride, then I would go home with him and Daddy would get what we needed from the store and asked him if he wanted to go home. He said yes at first and as we started to walk towards the door he changed his mind and decided he wanted to ride. We were so excited and so proud of him for first being able to talk with us and listen to his options and then two for making a decision to control himself. We took that small victory and celebrated big with Starbucks! Ok, that was for Mommy and Daddy. But they liked their cinnamon roll too!

                                      

Praise the Lord, we have had some HUGE progress when it comes to bedtimes. We haven't had ANY tears or fighting during naptime OR bedtime for the last 3 days! Yay!!! It still takes a little bit of work to get them calmed down and still enough that they fall asleep, but I'll take that any day over the middle of the week. We haven't really established a specific routine either. In all honesty, every day has looked different in how we get ready for bed. But we just make sure we talk about bedtime well in advance and don't spring it on him. And the main rule, for Silas and Sean is that we have to be close to Daddy. It's very important. :)                                           

My husband is so great. I can't give him enough credit. He has been so great juggling both of these boys. There are days that he carries both of them across the city it seems like. And they are HEAVY. Up and down stairs, over bridges, anywhere, anytime that one of them needs him, he is there. He is the center of both of their worlds. Silas is attaching very well to both of us. He doesn't cry if Justin's not in the room or anything and he is ok with him leaving. He lets me carry him too and cuddle with him at bedtime. But when Daddy is there he lights up. And he knows he's got him right where he wants him. 

After nap, we went outside to play for a while. I can't stop with the bubble pictures, sorry. 

We found some neat frisbees at the sport store so we showed Silas the ropes. Kid has some skills!!

So the place where we are staying is also famous for its statues. There are statues all over the island depicting the merging of the two cultures, Chinese and Foreigners, together. So we had to join the crowd and take a few pictures.

The most famous statue for adoptive families. My kids are a little older, but it still works! :) 

Silly faces!!

So he has this pose....

Then delivery for dinner and a movie until bedtime!

The boys were cute at bedtime. Sean actually wanted to lay down beside Silas tonight and he gave him lots and lots of kisses. Until we figured out that the kisses were prolonging bedtime, so then we had to switch places. But we were so happy to see him choosing to show Silas specific attention like that!

The cuteness!! It's been so fun and eye opening to watch Silas simply learn about life. Including taking a shower.
And he's picking up some English already too! Just from hearing us talk to each other.

Since we rescheduled our orphanage visit, we will doing that first thing in the morning.

A special prayer request: Silas and Stephen get carsick very easily. He does NOT like riding in the car. We are going to take the subway as far as we can,  but then we still will have a short ride in a taxi to the orphanage. It will make our entire trip about 30-40 min longer, but at least we wont have to worry about the car for that long (Maybe 15 minutes). We have some patches for him that we got from the pharmacy, but I don't know how well they work. (Sometimes I feel like Chinese medicine is all a placebo...) They said that he wasn't old enough to take their medicine and I totally didn't think about packing some Dramamine. 

So we will be there around 10 am our time (9pm CST). Pray for our time there and that Silas will be able to have closure about leaving. He seems excited to introduce us to his friends and teachers and show us around. He has seen many other kids come and go with their families and now it's his turn to show off, so I don't really think there will be any major emotional struggle, but you never know. This could be really hard for him. We are just praying for the best and are so thankful we have the opportunity to see a little bit more of what his life used to look like. 

And then we will have family pictures taken in the afternoon. Pray for a good nap time!!! haha. 

That's a really long day for a little boy!

Day Six

We are back with another lazy day in the hotel post for day six!! It's still the weekend, so going out is not on the agenda! Today was actually a really good day. If you read my post from yesterday, I was talking about dealing with the sibling issue. So we woke up this morning to a little bit of that still.

Learning to work through one of our struggles. I wanted to show some real life pictures too. Not just the smiles that are forced by Mommy and the camera. 

Sheer exhaustion. It was before 10am and we were already a little fried.

But as the day went on, things got better and better. 

We went for a walk and stopped at Starbucks.

Naptime was a success today. We all laid down together in the bed to watch a movie and the boys finally fell asleep. No dramatic tears, just a little bit of sit up/lay down game. And then crash.

We fell asleep with sweet little boys and we woke up to some ninjas in our room!!

(I never could have imagined when we bought Stephen this scarf/headband/balaclava, how big of a hit they would be for the boys! They LOVE playing like this and walk around the room with them on!

But they sure are cute ninjas!!

It still feels so surreal to look at these pictures and say, "We have three boys! Three!" 

 The boys had some great bonding today. We love where we are staying and the fact that we can get outside, away from the hustle and bustle and just walk around. 

Sean eating a cheeseburger!!! He tried mine the other day for the first time and that is what he ordered tonight!

Silas was feeling the need for some comfort food tonight. As much as he loves Western food and we are so thankful for that, it's still not his niche. But he is willing to try just about anything! 

We finished the night with some bubbles in the dark and a big group hug!!

Making bubbles is hard work!

Ok, here you have to see the progression in these pictures. It's too precious to miss. Click on the images to make them bigger!

Sean comes in first for the big hug. Silas is thinking about it...

Ok, sure, why not!

Stephen's face here gets me. He may have a tough exterior sometimes, but he has a heart of gold. 

And this one! The exchange between Silas and Stephen. So precious!!

These moments are what I live for!! 

So happy for a peaceful, relaxing day!! It was much needed. 

We are venturing back out into the world tomorrow. We have a meeting to fill out paperwork and discuss our US Consulate appointment on Wednesday. We will be meeting several other adoptive families as well that have spent the last week with their new kiddos! So excited for Silas to see some other families like us!

Bedtime went great as well. Now it's my turn! 

We will be back tomorrow with all new adventures!!