Happy Birthday!

We always try to live our life being joyful in the present. No matter the situation, our family verse is “Be joyful always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances.” 1 Thes. 5:16-18. But for today, let me just say that we are ready for next year. Normally birthdays are fun and exciting times. We love birthdays around here. We love cake, we love doing special things for the birthday boy or girl and we love celebrating together the good things that God has done for us. But this year, birthdays, especially these two, are so much more difficult than what is on the surface.

Justin’s 30th birthday is Friday. We have prayed so hard that we will be able to send in our Dossier on his birthday. We were worried that we were going to be sitting around just waiting for his birthday to come around so that we could officially meet all of the requirements to adopt from China. But we haven’t been sitting around. We have been working day and literally all night, praying, applying for grants and doing what we need to do to push this paperwork along. Unfortunately, our Dossier won’t be ready to send Friday. And that makes us very sad. A day that we anticipated would allow us to rejoice, is actually breaking our hearts. But as we have learned so well in the past, if your heart is never broken, joy wouldn’t taste as sweet. There is so much to be thankful for. Most importantly, we know that Qi Long is well cared for. He is surrounded by friends and caregivers that, it seems like, genuinely care for him. The orphanage director has gone out of her way to serve our family by communicating with us. That is a priceless blessing that we are beyond grateful to know, as so many people don’t have that privilege. 

When we began this journey, we put everything about this process at the feet of Jesus and asked him to lead and guide us. While a man plans his way, the Lord determines his steps. We know the direction we want to go and we know the things we need to do, and the rest is up to Him.

Qi Long’s birthday was on March 15. He turned 6 years old. You know how hard it is to watch your kids grow up? It’s really hard when you are watching him grow up and you haven’t been there for any of his birthdays. When you realize that he has had 6 birthdays now, without a mom and a dad to love on him and tell him how special he is and do something special JUST for him, it is a brand new level of sadness.

But once again, there is still room to rejoice. Hallelujah that the story doesn’t end there. There is such good news. Just like Jesus didn’t leave us in our lostness, God has not left Qi Long in his lonliness. God’s promise to Qi Long is being fulfilled even as I type this message. “I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you,” Jn. 14:18. This verse is a beautiful promise that many claim for the orphans of the world, who desperately need forever families. But in reality, it is a promise to every believer, who sometimes looks up at the sky wondering if Jesus is ever really going to come back. He promised, friends. And even though we may not see what’s going on behind the scenes, much like Qi Long can’t see how hard we are working to bring him home, Christ is working on our behalf to bring us home; to redeem us. To bind up our broken hearts, to give us freedom, to bestow on us a crown of beauty instead of ashes and a garment of praise instead of despair, to plant us as oaks of righteousness for the display of HIS splendor! (Is. 61) By God’s grace, this will be the last birthday that Qi Long will spend without a family. And only by His grace. And when it is time, when all of the details that we don’t know about come together and fall into place, in His perfect timing, He will come back for us and he will bring us all home. Amen!

Happy Birthday Justin and Qi Long! Lord willing, next year, we will all celebrate together! And oh what a celebration it will be!  

Looks like he enjoyed his cake!

We were allowed to send him a birthday cake and he was able to have a birthday party with his friends. We also sent him a video of our family singing to him and he was able to watch that on his birthday while he was at the doctor. We pray for God to prepare his precious little heart to be with us, and our hearts too.

Turning 30

I turned 30 today. For the past 3 years I have been semi-dreading this birthday. And not really for the reason of I'm getting old. Partly that, but in all selfish honesty, I have been sad that I wouldn't be with all of my friends and family for my 30th birthday. It has been a year of big birthdays in my family. Everyone is reaching new milestones together. And they are all going to be having big parties, and I'm not.

I'm not ashamed to admit it. I love parties. Especially when they are for me. My husband and my dear friends here have done a tremendous job at making sure that I feel loved and appreciated on my birthday since we have lived overseas. Actually, the husband has done more for my birthdays here than he ever has, because he knows that it's usually that important to me. And normally, I would try and plan an extravagant birthday trip or party here with our good friends. But this year, even with all of the anticipation of turning 30, I just didn't want it all. I've actually had a very good day with my family and friends here and I have had a lot of time to reflect.

This year my birthday is very different, because this year I finally meet the age requirement to adopt from China. It's a milestone that most people don't celebrate. But as I sit here and think about the face in the picture that we look at so often, there is no where else I'd rather be, than right here writing a blog about my 30th birthday and how it has changed my life. My life will never be the same as it was when I younger than 30. Not just because of the aches and pains that, apparently all of a sudden just appear the moment you turn 30! But because I am now allowed to bring a child into our home and give him a family and unconditional love.

30 feels good!