Day 100

I have written an introduction to an update so many times and then deleted it. I'm really not sure how to begin this update. So I'm just going to begin it this way. It is just awkward enough to fit how I feel these days.

100 days. It doesn't seem like so long when I word it that way. Almost a third of a year...that feels a little longer. My perspective flip flops almost daily when I think about the amount of time that we have spent with Silas.

I've been trying to think of one word that I could use to summarize our first 100 days. I think I'm going to go with supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. That's what you're supposed to say when you don't know what to say, right?

All in all, life has been great. Really. When I take a step back and look at our life from a distant vantage point, we really and truly have a blessed life. It's impossible to not be grateful at the end of the day.  We have continued to share so many firsts with Silas and that is such a joy.

2. Playing dress up with brothers

1. Getting to know cousins

3. Trying to ride a bike

5. Driving!

4. Riding!

6. Video Games

7. Flashlights!!

8. Grocery shopping

9. Road tripping

10. Hiking

11. Halloween

12. Losing a tooth!

13. Animals!!

14. Getting dizzy on a tire swing!

All of these and so much more that I can't even begin to include on the blog! And we are still going. Almost daily we encounter something new. But along with all of these firsts that seem so great come challenges that aren't so much fun to talk about. It's funny how pictures can speak one thing and yet the reality of that picture can be something totally different. In every single picture that I just posted, there is an obstacle that we had to overcome or are trying to overcome still. Some of them are bigger than others. Some of them are totally normal, that every child deals with. Some of them are really good victories. Some of them are just plain hard. With almost every happy moment, there is a struggle of some kind.

Along with all of the fun firsts also come the hard firsts. The firsts nobody really talks about. The ones that remind you that you have absolutely no idea what you're doing as a parent. The ones that leave you praying to God for strength because you realize that you just can't do this on your own. The first time he tests his boundaries. The first time he tells you he doesn't like you. The first time he says he wants to go back to his old school. The first time he disobeys. The first time he lies to you. The first time that you have to discipline him.

Because after all, he is a child. He is just a normal kid who struggles with all the same things that all kids struggle with. Sharing, getting along with siblings, wanting his own way. But not only is he a normal kid dealing with normal kid things, he is a child that has zero reason to love and trust you. A child who really has no idea what love is. A child that is relying on you to teach him how this life works in literally almost every aspect.

This life is hard. And as a good friend of ours reminds us, adoption is not for the faint of heart. We wake up every morning not knowing what we will be dealing with and praying for good to come out of whatever it is. And then we go to bed every night talking about all we wished we had done differently and praying that good will come out of whatever happened.

But it's in those struggles that beauty comes. Sometimes it's immediate and it's rewarding and we can cheer. But other times, it's not immediate. Sometimes, it's not rewarding. Sometimes, it just plain stinks. But there is still beauty. I really have no clue why God chose me for this job. And even with all of the hard things, I am so grateful that he chose me. When I sit on the couch with him and he reaches over and wraps his little fingers around mine, I am reminded of how far we have come, how long I waited for him to be in my arms and how much God has done and is doing in his life and in our family, the tears of gratefulness fall. All of these things are necessary to his growth and understanding of who he is. As each day goes by, he is finding his place in this world. His place in our family. His place in God's family. And it is worth it. So worth it.

So when you see our happy pictures on Facebook, remember to say a little prayer for us. Yes, we are happy. Incredibly happy. But just with any Facebook post, there are hard moments that come with the happy pictures! I think it would do a world of good if we could remember that for everyone we encounter!

Day Twelve

Hello from Beijing!! Yesterday we left Guangzhou and Silas rode his very first airplane. The sweet boy was SO excited he could barely stand it. We made him a calendar at the beginning of the week so that we could count down the days until we go to America. We look at it at bedtime and cross off the days and talk about what is going to happen tomorrow. He loves it and has been so excited. And when we told him that we were going to ride 4 airplanes all together, his eyes got huge. I was nervous that his first flight wouldn't live up to his expectations, and he wouldn't be interested anymore, but he did great and loved it.

We get lots of reactions from Chinese people about our three boys. Sometimes they are amazed that we have 3 kids. Some are amazed that we have 3 boys and some are completely confused as to why one of them looks Chinese. We get all kind of comments, but yesterday at the airport we were blessed by a sweet lady who agreed with us about what a special gift from God Silas was to us. She took this picture for us. 

             

When we got to the airport and through security and he saw the big windows with the airplanes he just couldn't contain himself and he wanted to get on the first one he found. So we had to try and explain that we had to wait for our specific airplane. And at that point, we were super early, so we had a bit of a wait. But that didn't last long by the time we got some food and found our gate.


Unfortunately, we had to do the whole thing where you ride on a bus to meet the plane out on the tarmac. Well, we rode on that cramped little bus to what seemed like a completely different terminal. It was no joke probably 15 minutes long. Those rides are usually maybe 5 minutes at the most from when you get started. We thought we would never get there. And eventually, we drove up to a plan that had the little runway thing that you walk down. I don't know why they didn't just send us to that terminal. But anyway. Side rant. Once we got on the plane and looked at all the bells and whistles the waiting started. We sat there in the plane for a long time before we got moving. And then it would move and stop. Move and stop. Every time we'd start moving, I'd tell him, "Ok, soon we are going to take off." And then the plane would stop driving again. He kept up good spirits though. He was so excited he didn't really care.

I love how these pictures show the progression of all of that!!

We finally took off and he giggled the whole way up and then watched in amazement and squeals when we went up into the clouds. It's so fun seeing the world through his eyes. Makes you take a step back and just marvel at the little things that we so often take for granted.

Our first stop after dropping off our bags was to the beach! Our friends let us borrow their scooters which was such a nice gift. Before we knew that we were moving, we would talk about all the things that we would do together once Silas got here, and one of those things was adding him in on our family scooter ride outings. We would talk about how much fun it will be when Silas is sitting up here too. Or the fact that we were just missing one person on our scooter. And so to be able to ride with him on the scooters was so much fun and I'm so glad that our family was able to do that one last time before we left. If you see some crazy lady riding around Spring Hill on a scooter, it's probably me and you will know that I am experiencing some culture shock!!

Silas loved the beach. It was a super fast trip. Like literally maybe 15 minutes. haha.

We just wanted to get pictures. We only had a few hours and we had lots of other things on the agenda! Plus, I didn't want to have to try and pack wet bathing suits!! Blech!

Sean loves sand. He was completely oblivious to everything going on, except for sand.

We have to get silly for you to be able to see his real personality in pictures.

It was a little overwhelming because there were a lot of people there. (We are still in China, after all) And of course they all want pictures of our kids. We are still so thankful that we had the opportunity to give him that experience while we were here!

Culture moment: There was one point, that I may not be so proud of, in which there were so many people surrounding my two year old trying to take his picture, that I couldn't even get to him, and I finally just said "Hey these are my kids. We are not a zoo!" There are certain things about the culture here that are a little more challenging than others, and some days that are more challenging than others. Usually the picture taking, we take it in stride and use it as an opportunity to meet someone new. But it was a little much today. I just wanted to take some pictures of my boys on their first trip to the beach together! Was that so much to ask? haha.

 We had dinner together and celebrated one friends birthday. Silas did great meeting everybody. He even showed some bravery and stepped out to join the bigger kids and see what they were up to. It was so fun to see him interact with other kids, even if he was keeping his distance. He was interested.

Just cause he's cute

Ok, so our boys are color coded. When we were shopping for their stuff, it really started with just their backpacks. And then the more stuff we added, the more color coordinated we got, until it became a thing. haha

Thanks, Uncle Ricky, for our matching bracelets!!

  then we went back to the G family's house and spent the night with them. We looked at pictures of our families and all of the adventures that we have had together over the past 5 1/2 years and reminisced on the good times. We laughed and cried and got really sleepy. The kids played one last time and Silas began to understand what real life looks like. There were a few times that I could tell he was disturbed that all of the attention wasn't on him and that we really didn't sleep all in the same hotel room together. But he had a lot of fun with the kids too. The biggest take away for us was that he couldn't believe that everything in the kids' rooms belonged to them. He kept pointing at things in the same room, asking "Who's is this?" and "Who's is that?"

This morning, we got up early ate breakfast together and loaded up all 10 suitcases, 3 carry ons, 5 backpacks and a guitar and headed to the airport for leg 3 of our journey to the States. 

I will write more about today later, when I'm more awake and can organize my thoughts. But for now, I'm going to sleep because we will be up and at 'em early in the morning to go see the Great Wall! And then in the afternoon we are on the road (in the air) again.

This time, America or Bust!!